I can't explain the feeling that I have after watching the videos of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile being murdered by police officers who felt entitled to shoot and kill them. This isn't about either's past record or whether or not the men were armed. This is about a failed system that is plagued by systemic racism at the first line of justice and protection. They were not running, they did not have a gun pointed to either of the respective officer's heads, they were victims of a society the does not value the life of a black man.

My heart is heavy because I'm the sister, daughter, and one day may be a future wife and mother of a black man who could do everything right but end up as a hashtag. It could be me whose loved one  gets murdered by the very people who should be "serving and protecting" them. I know not all cops are bad, but you better believe that there are millions of black Americans terrified by any encounter with a police officer, whether they are innocent or guilty. It seems one wrong move -- though we are supposedly free citizens -- could get us killed. After seeing this tragic abuse of power, what hurts the most is that more times than not, the officer gets away with it: found not guilty, no jail time, or even asked to take a paid leave.

The experiences, heartbreak, and hopeless feelings that are felt by the black community are valid. We have to pray that God covers our loved ones with the blood and works on the hearts of those who are in denial of a problem that has turned wives into widows, loved ones into mourners, and has made children fatherless. Actions have to be made past posting pictures and typing hashtags.

I would feel bad if that video was of any men regardless of race, but because the men were black it makes my own black being remember that everything is not ok. It's desensitizing to have to wake up to a new video or story where yet again, I'm being showed that this country was once a place where a black person was worth 3/5 of a resident... A country that my parents moved to for a better life but are often deferred from their choices and asked to cheapen their ambitions so that others can feel comfortable.

My heart goes out to the loved ones of those killed this past week by police terror. This is something that must stop.  Prejudice exists outside of the police force as well, these captured videos are just a representation that systematic racism is still very much alive everywhere. Stay faithful for "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:18) and "Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go"(Joshua 1:9).



Rest in Peace to Alton Sterling and Philando Castile



XOXO